There was a leak and the floors swelled up, buckling under their own gerth. A kind mousy lady and her strapping friend came over and told us it’d be covered, so now it’s time to wait till they give us money and then we go to Lowes for floor tile.

Hard to be mad about that.

I’m on the Lowes website now peeling through all the floor tiles. They have ones that look like other shapes, they have stone look and brick look, they have ceramic painted ones that just pop. Penny round sheets that seem like they’d be lovely on bare feet. 

I just have to chill, and I get spoiled by the universe. 

Just gotta remember this time to chill after that, too.

This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t chilled. Chilled in this context meaning “turned my will and my life over to the care of G-d and I understand her.”

It feels like giving up when you do it. Such a relief if you let it be. You watch people fall and suffer and die every day you end up surrendering, less like falling on your own sword and more like sitting down in the middle of the chaos and trying to meditate over the screams.

No longer talking about my fucking floors, jsyk.

Tho maybe they did scream. My kid is always asking what trees say, what rocks think. Maybe she’s onto something.