Daily writing prompt

What positive emotion do you feel most often?

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So like, happiness is a “positive emotion,” right? Wrong.

Happiness can sometimes be pretty good, for a while. Like anything in a bipolar mind it can go septic pretty quickly though, and before you know it you have what I like to call “the battery acid brains.” You stumble towards more joy on a knife’s edge. The heresy of an addict is in your eyes–you must have more. You know what’s coming.

Then there’s the grief that follows. Bad emotion, right? Wrong.

There is something deeply personal and real about depression. For a split second I feel like I am outside of time, like my toes in the soft dewy grass are sure to start decomposing, and the futility of trying to make life big is almost a relief. It’s that poster in your science class on steroids–you are HERE.

You are here.

Like anything it turns, though. You are here. Right? Maybe, anyway.

What a fucking tragedy.

The only pure and speckless “good” emotion I’ve ever found is stability. Less a strong foundation and more a rocking chair on a great, huge ship. The ship rocks, and so do you, and for a minute, maybe, you are in sync. For a minute, maybe, it’s like the whole world is crashing but you are suspended in a fine line, still and peaceful before the rush of it.

Stability.

I feel it a few times a year.